7.15.2004

I went to see "Napoleon Dynamite" tonight because I got a free pass from work. But when I got there, there were no tickets left. I was furious and stormed out of the theater. But get this -- I don't even want to see "Napoleon Dynamite." Until someone gave me the free pass, I was really ambivalent about that movie. I think I was more upset by the fact that I was all locked into to seeing it, only to have it torn from my clutches at the last minute. I strongly considered driving my car through the lobby of the theater. I really, really need a hobby.
 
Meanwhile ...
 
ANOTHER REASON BLACKBURN SOMETIMES
PRAYS FOR AN ASTEROID TO STRIKE THE
EARTH, EXTINGUISHING ALL LIFE THEREIN
There is a show on MTV about a woman who impersonates Anna Nicole Smith. Now that Anna Nicole has lost all that weight, the woman who impersonates her must lose weight, too. She is kind of pissed about this, because she gained all that weight just so she could look like Anna Nicole in the first place.
 
BONUS FUNNY
 
SOBER             THREE BEERS       DRUNK
Salad                 Tuna melt                Three sacks of Doritos
Kelly Ripa        Kathy Lee Gifford  Florence Henderson
"Seinfeld"         "Will & Grace"        "Yes, Dear"
Baseball            Soccer                       Beach Volleyball
Johnny Cash    Guns 'n' Roses        Ashlee Simpson
"Doonesbury"  "Blondie"                 "Kathy"
Martin Sheen   Charlie Sheen        Emilio Estevez
FDR                    Bill Clinton             George W. Bush
Business suit     Cargo shorts          "Where are my pants?"
Letterman         Leno                         Wayne Brady

7.14.2004

SIX THINGS THAT DRIVE
BLACKBURN COMPLETELY
FUCKING INSANE WITH
ANGER
06: People who pay with exact change
05: Hiptards
04: The cast of "The Real World"
03: Jim Belushi
02: Christian rock masquerading as real rock
01: Littering