MY LEAST FAVORITE SCENE IN THE 1988 ACTION FILM "DIE HARD"
John McClane yelps into his walkie-talkie, alarming the cop on the other end (whose only chracter description in the script was, apparently, "fat and black"), for he believes for a moment that the terrorists have brutally murdered his new friend. Instead, McClane is upset over the fact that a Twinkie he found somewhere in the building has gone rancid. The cop (a.k.a. the dad on that Urkel show) responds hilariously by lovingly ticking off the list of Twinkie ingredients ("...enriched wheat flour, riboflavin, yellow dye no. 5...") in a way that no one -- NO ONE -- would ever do in a similarly tense and potentially apocalyptic situation. Here is how I have improved this scene:

McClane: Yelp!
Coppy McCopperson: McClane! What's wrong?
McClane: I just bit into a 10-year-old Twinkie.
Coppy McCopperson: Stop eating Twinkies and get the fuck out of there!!!!!

(end scene)