1.11.2005

WOULDN'T IT BE NICE...
06: www.HotChicksWhoWillDateChubbyGuys.com
05: A 24-hour pizza delivery company that accepts IOUs.
04: Finding a magical whiskey spigot in your cellar.
03: The power to subpoena elected officials and corporate titans.
02: A car that runs on cheap generic flour from the Kroghetto.
01: "My name is Ashlee Simpson, and I'll be your waitress..."

1.10.2005

THE THINGS I DON'T TELL HER ANYMORE
I told her that
I like to drive
in the rain with
the windshield wipers off
"It's like I'm driving
through an old French painting"
She shrugged but didn't look up from her magazine
"You're going to get yourself killed"
That's when I decided to
stop telling her
things