THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF MY FATHER, BOB
10. Thou shalt not sit on the edge of the bed, for it can damage the mattress.
9. Thou shalt not discuss politics at the dinner table, for it makes Bob angry.
8. Thou shalt not watch TV in the dark, for it strains the eyes.
7. Thou shalt not borrow Bob's power tools, especially if you are the clumsy son.
6. Thou shalt always eat meat with a starch, be it a potato, bread or at least a cracker.
5. Thou shalt not listen to any music made past 1950, for it is all crap.
4. Thou shalt keep the damned door closed, for you're not the one paying the utility bill.
3. Thou shalt not forget to re-adjust the seat and mirrors after borrowing Bob's car.
2. Thou shalt not wear shorts, for they make you look unmanly.
1. Thou shalt get your head out of your ass, for Chrissakes.