6.26.2004

SIX PET PEEVES FROM
MY FRIEND "ONE-EYED"
PETE HOLLISTER
06: People who carelessly wave their lit cigarettes around in a crowded room.
05: Drunks who insist on playing darts without any regard for the safety of others in the bar.
04: Waking up with something in my (good) eye.
03: Sunglasses with inadequate UV protection
02: Idiots who believe that, just because someone is wearing an eyepatch, that they enjoy hearing pirate jokes.
01: (Tie) Being approached suddenly from my right/BB guns.

6.24.2004

THE SIX DUMBEST THINGS
I EVER SAID TO ATTRACTIVE
WOMEN I MET IN BARS
06: Yes, that seat is taken.
05: Aren't you the girl who threw up all over the coats at (blank's) party?
04: I'm sorry, I don't like to dance.
03: Can I borrow two dollars to buy a beer?
02: Can't one of your friends drive you home?
01: Well, then do you think your friend would go out with me?

6.21.2004

SIX TYPES OF WELL-
INTENTIONED IDIOTS
06: Hippies
05: Trekkies
04: Vegans
03: Evangelists
02: Beer snobs
01: Bloggers