1. The guy who works out a little too vigorously on the elliptical machine

2. The guy who seems to be barely moving on the elliptical machine

3. The cute girl with all the tattoos

4. The really, really hairy guy

5. The woman who is always there but never seems to lose any weight

6. The janitor who quietly loathes all the yuppies who never wipe down the machines

7. The guy who grunts loudly when he lifts weights because he wants to make sure you see how much iron he's pumping

8. The woman with all the makeup

9. The guy with the headband

10. The not-so-cute girl with all the tattoos

11. That guy you recognize from someplace else but can't quite remember where

12. The guy who you only know from a series of 2-minute conversations in the locker room over the course of the past 10 years

13. The flamboyantly gay guy

14. The guy who works out in jeans

15. The really sweaty girl

16. The guy who wears bike shorts that show off his package way too much

17. The trainer who critiques your form while doing lunges even though you didn't ask him to

18. The super old guy

19. The girl who only wears sorority t-shirts even though she appears to have graduated from college several years ago

20. The gorgeous woman who keeps catching you looking at her

21. The really sweaty guy

22. & 23. The impossibly good-looking couple

24. The bartender from that one place

25. The woman who can't figure out the controls for the treadmill and keeps glancing at you in hopes that you will take pity and explain them to her